A worry-free year

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

– Leo F. Buscaglia

More than a decade ago we experienced an ice storm that took out power for millions of people in Northeastern United States.  It left us without power for many days. and for some weeks.  We emptied our refrigerator, moved our food to the back porch to try to keep it cold, and cooked on camp stoves eating up as much as possible before it spoiled.  Thankfully, we have a propane fireplace which was quite effective at keeping half the house ( and us) warm while we fueled our wood fireplace to modestly maintain heat in the other half to keep the pipes from freezing.  From inside our home, we looked out onto a glistening crystal landscape.  Despite the beauty of the ice encapsulated twigs, we were saddened as we watched our trees bow down under the pressure.  The branches bent until they could bear it no more succumbing to the weight of the ice.  There was a tremendous amount of tree damage. 

After the storm, we cleared out the damages and hoped that the trees would heal over in the spring which they did.  But there was one cracked limb that was caught among the live boughs of a favorite tree.  It was the tree where, decades earlier, we hung a hammock when we first built our home

He was, of course, absolutely accurate in his assessment of a possible outcome of death by branch.  And I was within my right to accept that risk.  So it went for literally years, living in the balance between worry and present moment enjoyment. But for my husband’s ever vigilant eye for the danger in this world, I might have swung on that hammock in blissful ignorance of the possible death or dismemberment that loomed overhead.  Instead, I found myself looking upward to the skies through the branches, only to wind up narrowing my focus in on the limb hanging in the literal balance so that I could dodge out of the way should it start to tumble.  I spent my time wishing it would just fall already so I could simply have my restorative life in the hammock back.     

My worry about the branch had absolutely no bearing on the outcome whatsoever. Once I made the choice to be there, I would have been better off to simply be present, rather than worrying about whether the limb would choose that moment to dislodge.  But the worry did creep in – I permitted it in – not my husband – ME.  All that worry did was diminish my enjoyment of the moments spent in my garden on the hammock – for years.

“Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.” 

– Arthur Somers Roche

As we launch into 2021, I reflect on the fact that 2020 was a year that will forever be remembered as a year of worry.  I reflect on how much worry I have let into all aspects of my life which tainted my present experience or limited what could have been possible.  2020 was also a year of learning how to just get on living despite the dangers that exist.  We did not get on with life recklessly – denying that there were dangers – we simply adapted and got on with life, wearing masks, staying appropriate distances, being aware of symptoms and limiting exposure so that we could diminish the spread.  It is important to understand your environment and what you need to be aware of so you can take appropriate precautions.  But it’s equally important get on with life, rationally, choosing to continue to move forward without worry. 

“If there is no solution to the problem then don’t waste time worrying about it. If there is a solution to the problem then don’t waste time worrying about it.” 

― The Dalai Lama

Trust in yourself.  Be confident in your ability to make informed decisions.  Trust in a higher power to keep you safe.  Be brave. Take that next step, even if you have not mitigated every single risk.  But let go of worry.  Worry serves NO positive purpose but has significant impact to your health and confidence. 

On the last day of 2020, I looked out in my yard to see that limb of death was lying on the ground.  It had fallen without notice and, to the best of my knowledge, it had killed no living thing during its descent.  I guess, in the end, it was really just luck that I had not been in the hammock when the tree’s boughs released their grip on the death limb.  But whether it fell while I was in the hammock or while I was sleeping safely in my bed, my worry had nothing to do with the outcome. 

I am truly grateful that the limb will not be there next spring when I refresh the garden and want to spend afternoons feeling the sunlight as it filters through the branches that will be in full leaf.  And the metaphor is not lost on me that by next spring we expect to have vaccines at scale for this virus that hangs in the branches above our lives.  I am so grateful to have the anticipation of care-free living.  But the choice of letting go of worry is, always has been, and always will be within us regardless of what we are facing in the moment.

I am choosing to take the descent of the death limb as my personal symbol to eliminate worry from my day-to-day living.  That limb will feed my next backyard campfire instead of my worries.

My 2021 resolutions is to get on with living – without the worry – to experience the joy. 

Happy New Year!